Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
