ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
