I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
