Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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