Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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