i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
