No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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