Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
