I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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