Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
