I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
