im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
