I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Randomize
