Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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