I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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