he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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