Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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