Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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