I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
