I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
