everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
