Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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