He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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