He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
