He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
