try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
