ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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