u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so much tequila, so little girl.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
