Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
