Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
