Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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