He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
