okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Those nachos came to me in a dream
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
