Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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