There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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