You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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