why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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