marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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