dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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