I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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