Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
