I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
