Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs