You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you had me at cake vodka
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.