To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This is not my ceiling
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
