i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize