Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
