what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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