Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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