I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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