random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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