someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
