Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.