I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone