I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.