How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS