Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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  (306): Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out http://tfl.nu/kvs3
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (854)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket

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  (215): I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket http://tfl.nu/8xo3
  Replies (11) Good night (3854) Bad night (711)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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  (978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71
  Replies (35) Good night (4312) Bad night (1553)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4300) Bad night (634)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.

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  (616): I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon. http://tfl.nu/lqe8
  Replies (29) Good night (1239) Bad night (4068)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

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  (651): just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot. (1-651): called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck. http://tfl.nu/1omb
  Replies (18) Good night (6155) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?

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  (803): Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything? http://tfl.nu/hmy2
  Replies (7) Good night (954) Bad night (4549)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.

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  (410): I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us. http://tfl.nu/iw4a
  Replies (5) Good night (3229) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  RIP Mr Bojangles.

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  (910): In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic. (919): RIP Mr Bojangles. http://tfl.nu/00j7
  Replies (13) Good night (1209) Bad night (2181)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or

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  (571): The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or http://tfl.nu/mgim
  Replies (10) Good night (1760) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.

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  (210): I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float. http://tfl.nu/rjkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1078) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then apparently I went "not bad" and continued

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  (434): I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night (434): then apparently I went "not bad" and continued http://tfl.nu/4s21
  Replies (0) Good night (601) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.

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  (647): I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes. http://tfl.nu/g99k
  Replies (4) Good night (345) Bad night (824)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.

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  (641): I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor. http://tfl.nu/67h2
  Replies (7) Good night (436) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

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  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (759) Bad night (327)

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