we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....