No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
