M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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