Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
